Hallo-awesome-ween

Eager readers,
I give you a tale of fright and mystery, one that will make your blood pressure rise and your anxiety explode. Nah, just kidding. I'm going to tell you how I boinked a girl.

So, it was Halloween. Of course, I had to choose to be something awesome. You see, there are always 5 choices for a guy to choose from if he wishes to get laid on Halloween:
A. An Angel (for those girls who like to be Devils)
B. Any sports player of any kind (for those naughty referees)
C. Jet pilot or any maritime occupation (you drive fast and hard and know how to use your hands)
D. Darth Vader (because Star Wars is awesome)
E. Hugh Hefner (for obvious reasons)

Now, I'm not saying that the costume makes the man. You still have to play your cards right. For instance, it is always a good idea to have multiple costumes in case of failure (usually a mask helps). Last night, for example, I chose to be an angel, because I had calculated the probability of at least one girl being a devil at 56.24% (yeah, I calculated). Not only did my calculations pay off, but I encountered one devilishly hot devil. I measured her up at 32 C with the body only a young Britney Spears used to possess (god rest her soul). There is a method to approaching said deviless; one must have the face of "I know what I want, I know what you want, I can give it to you, so get ready to take your clothes off." I'm not exactly sure how that translates to a look, but I do it awesomely. Anyway, I approach the deviless, look her in the eyes with the "Coitus Stare" (patent pending), and say one thing:
"Did you escape from hell, or are you just an angel in disguise?"
With her eyes fixated on mine, she calmly took a step toward me. My heart rate slightly increased, along with my testosterone levels. She looked my up and down, and said words that still give me goosebumps:
"I guess the only way to find out is to take off this disguise."
With that, she grabbed my hand and led me away from the disgusting basement (I had no idea where I was at the time, I had just wandered into some random party) into one of the bedrooms upstairs. Let me tell you, she should probably be a cat for Halloween next year, since she was a wildcat in the sack. For a good 6 hours we made continuous sex, varying positions at every few intervals. Riding her felt like riding on a motorcycle, or driving a newly bought Ferrari; the intensity was just awesome. She fell asleep after our constant sex; I got up, gathered my costume, left my goodbye note (I will post it later) and walked out. I will never forget Angela. Or was it Stephanie? Or Tara? I went to another party after that, so I forget. Either way- I'm awesome.

Things to remember from this- "Coitus Stare" (patent pending) must be done with absolute confidence, almost arrogant confidence. Otherwise, it doesn't work.
-Always have a costume that you know can compliment a girl's costume (as stated above).
-Use a fake name. It always helps.
-Give out a fake number, preferably of a local Chinese restaurant.
-Never fall asleep with the girl. Thus, the entrapment is possible and the probability of a relationship grows. Remember, polygamy is the future.

That's all for now.